Pure Love
What is Pure Love? What Does Love Mean?
In Punjabi, there is a saying, “Jodiyan jag thodiyan, karad vasan batheray” which means, “Couples are made in heaven, but it’s their actions that bind them together on Earth.” In today’s world, people are more obsessed with love. Kids start their first relationships in school. People watch romance on television and think that’s what love is. Some have never seen real love in their lives, and if they have, they never understood it.
So, what is love?
I will tell you about three types of love.
1. Love as Responsibility
Love is responsibility. It’s heavy, but incredibly powerful. When you love someone, you take on their responsibility. You do your best to keep them happy, safe, and secure. When love is strong, it’s usually because two people have taken responsibility for each other and stayed together through thick and thin. They care for each other deeply.
I remember my Nana Ji loved my Nani Ji like this. When he was dying, he made my mom promise that she would keep an eye on Nani Ji, visit her regularly, and help her if she ever needed anything. Although my Nana Ji had three sons, he didn’t trust them with her care because they were all busy with their own lives. Even when death was near, a man’s love for his wife was so great that he wanted to ensure she was taken care of after he was gone. That is pure love. Taking responsibility for someone until your last breath.
In today’s generation, only a few people have the heart and character to take responsibility for someone else. My Nana Ji wasn’t the richest or most successful man, but I am sure he was close to God. When this life ends, whether you are Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, or a beggar asking for 10 rupees, we all go to the same place. So, if you embrace love as responsibility, you die with strength and peace, not feeling betrayed by life.
When my father passed away, he died with deep regret. His daughter was only 6, and his son was just 6 months old. He couldn’t fulfill his responsibilities toward us. However, he didn’t know that his final attempt to guide me gave me valuable insight into how to view life. When he realized he wouldn’t survive, he made sure his last conversation with me focused on two things:
- “Chetna, you will turn anything you touch into gold.”
- “You are very strong, and you will take care of Mummy and Madhav.”
His love was pure, and his intentions were right. That love shaped my life and gave me the strength to move forward.
Pure love is when you want the best for the other person, and the only pain you feel is from not doing enough for them. That’s why parents’ love is often considered pure.
2. Love Between the Soul and the Universe
The second type of love is even more precious. It occurs only between those who are spiritually awake. This is the love between the human soul and the universe. I can tell you, nothing is more intoxicating than this love. Sufis, saints, and those who can see beyond the eye’s reach, who believe in something that the mind cannot comprehend, experience this love. Others may not even understand what I’m saying.
This love is a gift that God gives to awakened souls. In this love, God gives you a tune, and your soul dances to it. To achieve this kind of love, you need to think about God. You need to gaze at nature and search for clues of God’s presence. You need to sit in silence, be carefree, and maybe then, God will bless you with this love. Although, I have to warn you, if you find this love, the world may think of you as crazy. However, you will be unbothered and the happiest version of yourself. The smallest babies, animals, and the wind—everything innocent—will be charmed by you.
3. Fake love
I landed in Canada and met a girl who was 21 years old. After changing cities, I met her again a year later. She seemed more confident, but she had lost her innocence. She had a boyfriend who had two exes in his past. He told her, “You will not find any guy without a past, no matter who you marry. So, you should enjoy life and have a boyfriend. If we don’t marry, you will still gain experience.”
This is the mentality of today’s generation: love without responsibility, driven by personal benefit. This kind of love takes more than it gives. She lost her innocence, and perhaps she also lost the ability to love responsibly, without expecting anything in return, and aiming for a spiritual connection.
When a teenager gets attracted to someone and thinks, “I am going to marry this person,” it may be an innocent mistake. But when love becomes all about using the other person for company, lust, or fun, it becomes a sin. Fake love dulls the soul, making you lose connection with yourself and with God.
When you claim to love someone only to gain something from them, you betray not only that person but also your own soul. On the surface, nothing may seem to happen to these people. They may live happy lives, find someone else, and appear proud and content with their partners. But such relationships do not offer the opportunity to get closer to God.
What they become trapped in is far worse than any jail—cycles of life beyond what you and I can perceive. So, be cautious of fake love.
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